Dear Caitlin,

You were the best assistant every (both on shoot in and in the office) and work days are now boring without you. Come back from Paris.

Kate

And, I learned another important lesson from an almost 2 year old: sometimes when things get crazy you just need to get out.

This past week I did both. I escaped the crazy that is Corpus and went to Fort Worth where I have family & friends to love me and help with River so that I could “jump” for a while. Dan does what he can and I admire how hard he works and how little he sleeps, but residency is rough. With him working 80ish hours a week and me trying to raise two crazy dogs and a little human on my own, life has been rough. I have been escaping to Fort Worth for sanity sake and booking sessions so that I could count it as a work trip. I did shoot a wedding on Saturday with my friend Ann, so technically I was traveling for work, but I actually took it easy last week instead of booking sessions all week and it was somewhat…um…awesome. But, after a while a little boring. I was actually excited to get back to the chaotic life that is Corpus. River is starting to get into a nap routine and I am determined to catch up on work this week. I’ve continued to think about photography in terms of what should I do, and I think it is going to continue to be a balancing act. I’m not ready to throw in the towel, but I’m also not ready to book back to back weddings every weekend as I may have been a few years ago. Life changes and right now I am feeling really good about my life. I really do love the craziness. It was overwhelming at first, but as River and I are figuring out our little routine things are becoming more and more normal and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So yes, this means I’m coming out of my cave (so to speak). I’m planning on turning on my work cell phone tomorrow (something that hasn’t been done in over a month, I’m very afraid of how many voicemails I have), finishing editing all of my sessions, responding to new clients and mailing out print orders. New images for you soon! Thanks for stopping by and listening to me ramble!

Reflecting over the past few years I am amazed at how blessed my business has been. I really need to give all the glory to the Lord. I know people throw that phrase out occasionally and it either gets overlooked or a few eye rolls, but I am sincere at heart. When I decided to jump full-time into photography and quit my other full time job which provided a steady and secure income, it was a leap of faith. God has provided both financially since then as well as socially, I have been so blessed by all of the couples and weddings that I have been a part of! Thank you all for your support of my business and letting me into your lives, even if just for a brief period of time.

Happy 2012 everyone! Cheers!

I’ll be out of the office for Christmas starting today through Jan 2. I will be responding to emails sporadically and via my phone, so it’s best to not expect a legitimate reply until 2012. This is River saying, “Don’t email my Mom until next year.”

He’s kidding. You can totally email me before next year… just don’t expect a prompt reply! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Enjoy your family this holiday season, that’s what I will be doing!

Our tree is #9, the stop motion video!

It’s super easy to vote, just click and push the “Vote” button. No info is needed, here is the direct link: http://kellymoorebag.com/blog/?p=9143

I started my personal blog. Feel free to follow me there if you like, I’ll be blogging much less about myself and River here. In part of my soul searching that I mentioned I was doing I have decided to do a better job of separating work and personal life and this is one of the ways I’m doing it. I’ll be re-desiigning my blog/site as well. Fresh new looks make me feel like fresh new starts. I’ll launch it after my birthday, until then (December 3) I’ll honor current wedding & portrait pricing. Although, I’m currently referring all family portrait sessions (or any sessions wanting pictures before Christmas) to Tiff C Photography. I’m all booked up and learning how to say “no”. It’s an amazing feeling, setting boundaries.

When people ask me if I stay at home or if I work, I respond “Yes”. People generally say things like, “That is so great the you can work from home and have the flexibility to keep working and be a mom”. I know that is probably how it seems to someone on the outside but the truth is, when you work at home you are never fully at home and you are never fully at work. It’s a constant balance that many of us (photographers) struggle with and now that I am a mom I am finding it particularly difficult.

I often times compare myself to other photographers who are moms and seem to have it all together. I’m not exactly sure how they are doing this, but it seems that they are taking the same number of sessions and weddings as they were prior to children, they are able to keep up with blogging and their business and even have time to cook and clean. I am baffled by this and have only recently realized that they are either lying or some people just have a greater capacity for things than I do, because try as I have, I can’t do it all. I started shooting again at 5 weeks pp. Finding a sitter while I did the shoot or scheduling the shoot when Dan was home was not too difficult, but the post processing, email/booking process and print order fulfillment has been the difficult part. One night recently I stayed up until 5 a.m. working and when River woke up for the day at 5:30 I was (to say the least) not at my best. I love my husband and he is doing the best that he can to support me, but he is in medical residency. He works an average of 70 hours a week and when he is home he has to study. He does find time to hold River (usually while doing flashcards or reading out of his giant medical text book) but he is not able to spend as much time with him, or “relieve me”, as he would like. Because of this, I have felt like a single-working mom without childcare. It has been really hard. Really hard.

When we first moved to Corpus Christi I did not receive any wedding inquiries or even portrait session inquiries for about 2 months. I started to freak out a little bit. In Dallas I was receiving 3-4 wedding inquiries a week. I didn’t book all of them, but I at least had leads coming in. Corpus Christi was just a different market. Why would someone pay $3,000 to book with me when you could find a photographer that would do it for $500. Seriously, when I looked at what other photographers were charging when we first moved to the Bay Area I was baffled. There is no way these other photographers have the equipment that I have (and to be honest, their images reflected that) and even though I know that $500 per wedding is not sustainable I felt the pressure to lower my pricing. (I realize that I am jumping all around, but I promise this is all coming together eventually). I talked to a few of my fellow photographers who had struggled with pricing issues and the thing of it is, even if I know what I need to make to sustain my business, if I am booking nothing then it doesn’t matter what I am charging. Zero is 100% less than what my pricing use to be, so adjusting it a little and making say 30% less was better than 100% less. ..or so I thought. It turns out that tweaking my pricing a bit turned into an influx in business, which originally I thought was awesome. I would just work a little more (take more portrait sessions than I usually do) and make up for the 30%. The thing is, that sounds good mathematically and on paper, but now that I am a mom and I have a full-time responsibility to a sweet little boy-I can’t push myself like that. It only took three weeks of this super busy speed to realize that I am not superwoman.

I realize that I don’t owe an explanation for how my business will soon be changing, but I just wanted to share that I don’t have it all together and I am doing some serious soul searching as to what needs to change. I will of course be honoring all of my wedding and portrait contracts that are already booked and I will honor any weddings that I am “in process” with (meaning booking proposals have been sent, I’m just waiting for signatures and deposits), but just a heads up-sometime in the near future I will be revamping my business for purposes of being a better mama. When River is awake I don’t want to be thinking, “Can you please take a nap so I can go upstairs and work?” I want to play the piano while he is sitting on my lap and take walks with him along the bay. Instead of my phone constantly going off with new client inquiries while River is begging for my attention, I want to leave my phone alone and twirl him around so he knows he is way more important than any email or phone call.

It’s a hard thing for me to make this shift because I have worked for so long to grow my business, and now that I am successful it seems that I need to cut back. I am an all of nothing kind of person, so I have no idea how I am going to do this. If I keep my photography business going (which I truly want to do, I really do love it) I’m going to have to figure out a way to turn down weddings and sessions and only take as many as I can handle. I am also going to have to turn off the switch in my head that runs non-stop with new business ideas. I no longer want to be the best photographer, I want to be the best mom.

If you have sent me an inquiry in the last week about a portrait session and I have not been able to respond yet, I will respond soon, but I will be referring you to another photographer. Thank you in advance for understanding. I just need more time with my little River.

See the canvas in the background? I took that on Dan and I’s honeymoon (Lake Moraine, Banff Canada). It’s hanging in our kitchen, we often pretend we are there looking out at the mountains while sipping coffee in the morning.